🚀 Hello, Seekers!

I know of someone who doesn’t sleep well. He hasn’t slept well for years. He has trouble falling asleep, or if he does fall asleep, he wakes up at the same time in the middle of the night and then has a hard time falling asleep. He’s tried it all, sleep specialists, not using his IPad after 7 pm, had relaxing teas… You name it, he’s done it. Yet, he still has trouble sleeping. He kept looking outside at the mechanics of the body; food, lighting, consistent bedtimes, but what’s important to know about our systems, they always tell us that something is wrong. It’s up to you to interpret it correctly. And heal it.

Most always, our lack of sleep, once we clean up the obvious culprits and we have found that doesn’t work, is caused by some part of our awareness showing us there is something emotional, something deeply unresolved, that is waiting for us to shine a light on it, to heal it. Why else would it spend so much energy causing such consternation in our lives?

But we have to be brave. We need to open our hearts and minds to what we are being shown. And jump right in. Our body needs us to care for it.

I don’t know about you, but I really like my sleep. I’m sure you do, too. If I don’t get enough of it in a big enough block of time, I am pretty much useless to myself and the world. My will to go out and the conquer the world is non-existent, my desire to expand outward, plan fun things, get tons of work done in the office, the garden, with the kids, family outings… ALL is off the radar until sleep comes. And any parent will certainly attest to the first few months of caring for their newborn, it can be so hard to function if you don’t get enough of that beautiful sleep.

We can take all those pills on the market, but I’m not overall a fan of using that as a crutch for too long (I try to NEVER use it and do the below instead). I have read that certain over the counter sleep aids are seriously overused and they can prevent your body from working in the way it is supposed to. The bandaid of these “aids” may not actually be fixing your problem, but just masking it!

So, there you are. NOT SLEEPING. Or waking up at the same time each night. Why? Let’s go through some of the obvious mechanics that might be the problem before we get into the deeper possibilities.

1. You are stressed.

   1. Do you feel out of control about something, don’t have the answer to a problem, or haven’t planned well enough to prevent or mitigate what is stressing you?

      1. Solution: Write in a journal or pad of paper your to-do’s and your stresses. Who can help you solve the problems?

      2. Meditate before bed.

      3. Drink some calming tea. Listen to calm music. Lower the lights to calm your mind.

      4. Share your stresses with the right person (s). It’s harder to do it alone, and sometimes things feel BIGGER when we bottle them up inside and don’t share.

2. Your diet is less than stellar. And you are eating at times that do not support your circadian rhythms (body clock).

   1. Solution: Reset your eating times with consuming minimal sugar, alcohol and caffeine in the evening. Make sure your vitamins and minerals are in proper balance. (See your physician about this.)

3. You are on your IPad or smartphone, with that blue light making your brain stay up and your brain simply can’t shut off.

   1. Solution: Get off that screen by 7 pm. Or put it in Night Mode (the screen color shifts to more of a yellow/red tone). Read a book instead. Listen to the slow, relaxing cadence of a reader on Audible. Try that for a few nights and see if that helps.

4. You have no bedtime routine. Your sleep schedule is all over the place.

   1. Solution: Again, your circadian rhythm needs to be reset. Create a pattern and stick with it for a week at least. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and read in another room until you feel sleepy. Return to bed.

Ok, let’s say you have all of that in check. Yay, you! You exercise enough, eat pretty well, don’t have consciously known stresses, yet your eyes are open, you’re staring at the ceiling and you. just. can’t. sleep. OMG!!! Well, let’s then look at some deeper root causes.

What else could it be?

Here’s the long and short of why you probably can’t sleep. Your awareness can’t shut down because there is a threat. A threat from your past, perhaps? Or perhaps a threat you have placed in your future, to prevent you from future harm. Your awareness is using energy to track it so you can feel safe, and actually be safe.

Your brain is designed to keep you safe, right? If you have been following my newsletters over the past few months, you have learned that what you survive you recreate, and in order to keep you safe from things you have survived, sometimes, you stay “on alert” to make sure something like that past experience won’t happen again.

If any of you are a parent, remember when your kids at a few months old would cry in the middle of the night? You probably had “one eye open” always ready to take care of that little bundle, didn’t you? Well, imagine that type of alertness given the job of preventing harm from coming to you. In the battlefield overseas, a toxic parent or childhood, an out of control spouse or significant other or more. This triggered response of keeping one eye open to prevent the threat from harming you, and it can prevent a restful calm sleep from occurring.

I often see people who don’t like change, don’t want to get better. Why?

Because it can seem scary.

It can seem like a lot of work.

Or they fear they won’t identify with themselves after the change occurs.

I understand all of that. It is a lot. But I ask you this, do you want to be happier and calmer? Don’t you deserve it? Don’t you want to feel a deep calm resound through every fiber of your being?

I leave you with this: If you are curious about my friend who doesn’t sleep well? He’s finally listening to the deep fears and past hurts. He knows it has to be this because he’s exhausted all else. He’s ready to look inward and feel the hard, deep feelings he’s shoved away for so long. He’s calling out the truth now. And his sleep is slowly improving.

If you can’t sleep and you’ve tried everything else, book a free consult with me. I’d love to help you.

Fondly,

Summer Reading!